Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Silver strands and conversation

I pocket dialed Stupid twice this morning while scraping my windows. HOW my phone a.) unlocked itself, b.) found HIS name and c.) dialed is beyond me. Just completely BEYOND. Had breakfast with a friend and chatted... and while we're sitting there, I noticed something shiny out of the corner of my eye on my shoulder. My hair was wavy from having been in pigtails last night after I got out of the shower...

So I grab a handful of hair and among all the strands of raven was a solitary strand of silver. My eyes got big and I yanked it the heck out. I haven't had much color in my hair since my car accident. I went a little silver for a while after that. And then a little after the rape. And then a little after the miscarriage last year, but they were always one or two... and didn't grow back. I'm blaming the stress of having been married to a man with no soul.

After breakfast, I went to get the boy and he drove me around for three hours while we talked and talked and TALKED about EVERYTHING. About what happened between us the other night, about love and exes and LIFE... I told him some things he didn't know and it felt good just to be with him again. I'd missed him...

He wants me to take the house when we go to court. I tried to explain to him that I could never live there again... most of my memories there are bad... the best times I had in that house didn't really involve Paul in the least... the house has been tainted by a disgusting man and his dirty whore. Frankly, if I moved back in, I'd have to get a roommate and I can't just live with someone... I think the boy just wants to have someone to hang out with sometimes. I don't know.

I know that right now I am exceedingly tired and there is much on my mind. The conversations put a lot of stuff in my head... and I need to decompress (and frantically search for more silver hair). :P

Goodnight, internet.

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