Starting a business was both a blessing and a curse. When Paul quit Tyson, we were really hurting for a second income. He had worked for a heating and cooling company briefly during the first year in the house and he'd worked at various construction companies throughout his life, it just seemed like the next logical step that he start working for himself. He had installed a few furnaces here and there and it was quite profitable, so when he started talking about maybe going out on his own, I was all for it.
By December he was busy enough that he had to have help. We decided to become a "legitimate business" and talked over how to do so. He wanted to get an EIN number and sign up for taxes and all that good garbage. We decided I'd put everything in my name... to avoid having his child support skyrocket and to protect him should someone look up our business and find that a former felon was running it. It seemed logical. I wish I'd never been so quick to put myself in that position.
By March we had several jobs under our belt, several hundred dollars in the bank, a business bank account and 3-5 full time and part time employees. Paul put in a bid to build a house for the family of some of our customers. It looked promising and the business stood to profit about $30,000. It seemed like the perfect way to really establish a name for ourselves. By April he had landed the job and by May, they were hard at work getting the house started.
Somehow things didn't work out the way they were meant to. Money was blown through quicker than anticipated and the homeowners were extremely difficult to work with. The woman, in particular, was demanding and kept requesting changes. Paul didn't put anything in writing... and it later came back to bite us in the butt. There were several charge accounts. Some I knew about and some I wasn't quite so informed of. The stress from the house was really weighing on our relationship. Paul was cranky most of the time because the homeowners were giving him grief and he wasn't getting much sleep.
The more people who worked on the job, the more it seemed things were getting messed up. It isn't that Paul didn't know what he was doing--he just had too much on his plate. I wanted to pay off the charge accounts as quickly as they were created, but he kept reassuring me that they'd get paid off when the homeowners made their final payment with all the extras added on. He bought a truck, a trailer, some tools... we went on trips... he played cards... the money ran out.
I tried to to step in. Paul was at the end of his rope. The stress was overwhelming him and he was losing it quickly. He tried so hard to keep it together, but he just couldn't. When I stepped in, I thought I could fix it. I thought I could take the stress off of him and we'd be okay. He'd made so many promises to the homeowners... and I couldn't follow through with any of them. They were furious at him. I remember clearly the day I went to the house to prime the walls. A man walked in the room while I was on the phone with Paul. I quickly got off the phone and greeted the man. I thought he was the cabinet guy. He said he was from the lumber company and wanted to know when I'd be able to settle the bill.
I remember looking at him and saying, "Oh, I should be able to take care of that soon. The homeowner is supposed to be making a $20,000 payment here soon and I'll take care of you and a few other things." He looked confused. "The bill with you is only $17,000..." I started. He looked grim as he held out a piece of paper and said, "Ma'am, your bill is over $32,000." My heart stopped for a second. I couldn't believe what he was telling me. I told him that I would talk to Paul and we would drive to their shop the following morning to arrange payment.
I called Paul and through my tears I begged him for answers. He just kept telling me to calm down. He told me everything I wanted to hear. The following morning we went to the lumber company and he let me talk and beg and plead for them to have mercy on us. Paul had told them that I'd put the check in the mail a dozen times and that I would be handling it. All the while, I didn't have a CLUE what was going on.
Fast forward a few weeks and Paul walked off the job. On one hand I don't blame him. The homeowners were creeps and had flat out lied to my face about a few things. There wasn't going to be enough money to cover everything that had to be done to the house and there was no guarantee the homeowners were going to pay what they owed once the work was done. It was just a mess. The contract Paul and designed in the beginning made it impossible to let things work in a way that made sense to anyone short of a trial lawyer. There just didn't seem to be a way out and so he walked.
He kept working. He did many jobs since... but things were never the same. It was always catch up with paying bills. There was always something we couldn't pay and there were always too many guys on the job. I begged Paul to let me take some of the responsibility, but he wouldn't release any control whatsoever. It was wearing on him. He started a few jobs that weren't done correctly and he'd have to go fix it or send someone to fix it. Some employees came and went. There never seemed to really be anyone Paul could trust to work on their own and he was working so many hours and getting so little sleep.
Toward the end, he landed a good roofing job in a large town. The money was going to clean up a bunch of debt. He was there one day, working in the rain, busting his butt... and the guy he was working for was just a total prick. There were several different crews working on this huge roofing project and all of them got fired because the man in charge had a stick up his butt. Paul did a good job, I have no doubt. The guy just wanted the impossible. After that, Paul lost all hope in just about everything. He came home and announced that he wanted to separate and after that... it was all down hill.
There are a few open jobs where customers are unhappy. There are a few where lawsuits have been threatened. The business, though we are married, is legally mine. The debt is legally mine. If he wrote bad checks, if he made promises to clients, if he took money and ran... it all comes back on me. The hopelessness of knowing that he could walk away and leave me hanging is overwhelming. Especially when he tells me that he can't wait for the divorce so that he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. As if I am the one who has caused all of his problems.
If I could go back in time, I think I'd still have encouraged him to start the business but so many things would have been different. He took on too much, too soon and it overwhelmed him in a way that I was blind to. In the end he was working 12+ hour days and I never saw him. He was getting very little sleep and living on caffeine, McDonalds and vicodin. I wasn't allowed to voice any kind of concern because he didn't want to hear it.
And now... now I just have to hold on and wait to see if he follows through or if his desperation to get rid of me is greater than his conscience. He's capable of being a good man... of stepping up to the plate and doing the right thing... but our relationship (or lack thereof) is just so volatile right now. He acts like he can't stand the sight of me. Like I'm the one who screwed him over. He doesn't care one way or another what happens to me--he just wants me gone.
There's so much debt. I have to file bankruptcy. There's over $100,000 in total with the house and the car and all the business stuff. We never got around to being incorporated. We were a sole proprietorship. I'm stuck. When everything is said and done, I'll walk away having lost basically everything. The house (he wants me to deed it to him so he can assume liability with the divorce), my job, the business, my husband, the security in life I had... I'm losing everything. The debt will disappear... but I'll be left with nothing. We have to come up with $3,000 for a bad check he wrote on a business check with my name. We have to come up with $1,300 for the bankruptcy and $650 for the divorce. Then he's done with me. I have to work something out with the IRS to cover the $10,000 in payroll taxes that didn't get paid. I just feel so helpless.
Another night and very few answers. I've laid a fleece before God... asking for a final, definite answer one way or another what I am meant to do. I believe that by Friday, I will have the answers that I need.
I'm spending tomorrow night with him. To say goodbye and to know that it's my very last night laying next to my husband. It's my last night to be held by him. My last night to kiss him or lay my head on his chest. It's my last night as Mrs. Vaughn... my last night.
By December he was busy enough that he had to have help. We decided to become a "legitimate business" and talked over how to do so. He wanted to get an EIN number and sign up for taxes and all that good garbage. We decided I'd put everything in my name... to avoid having his child support skyrocket and to protect him should someone look up our business and find that a former felon was running it. It seemed logical. I wish I'd never been so quick to put myself in that position.
By March we had several jobs under our belt, several hundred dollars in the bank, a business bank account and 3-5 full time and part time employees. Paul put in a bid to build a house for the family of some of our customers. It looked promising and the business stood to profit about $30,000. It seemed like the perfect way to really establish a name for ourselves. By April he had landed the job and by May, they were hard at work getting the house started.
Somehow things didn't work out the way they were meant to. Money was blown through quicker than anticipated and the homeowners were extremely difficult to work with. The woman, in particular, was demanding and kept requesting changes. Paul didn't put anything in writing... and it later came back to bite us in the butt. There were several charge accounts. Some I knew about and some I wasn't quite so informed of. The stress from the house was really weighing on our relationship. Paul was cranky most of the time because the homeowners were giving him grief and he wasn't getting much sleep.
The more people who worked on the job, the more it seemed things were getting messed up. It isn't that Paul didn't know what he was doing--he just had too much on his plate. I wanted to pay off the charge accounts as quickly as they were created, but he kept reassuring me that they'd get paid off when the homeowners made their final payment with all the extras added on. He bought a truck, a trailer, some tools... we went on trips... he played cards... the money ran out.
I tried to to step in. Paul was at the end of his rope. The stress was overwhelming him and he was losing it quickly. He tried so hard to keep it together, but he just couldn't. When I stepped in, I thought I could fix it. I thought I could take the stress off of him and we'd be okay. He'd made so many promises to the homeowners... and I couldn't follow through with any of them. They were furious at him. I remember clearly the day I went to the house to prime the walls. A man walked in the room while I was on the phone with Paul. I quickly got off the phone and greeted the man. I thought he was the cabinet guy. He said he was from the lumber company and wanted to know when I'd be able to settle the bill.
I remember looking at him and saying, "Oh, I should be able to take care of that soon. The homeowner is supposed to be making a $20,000 payment here soon and I'll take care of you and a few other things." He looked confused. "The bill with you is only $17,000..." I started. He looked grim as he held out a piece of paper and said, "Ma'am, your bill is over $32,000." My heart stopped for a second. I couldn't believe what he was telling me. I told him that I would talk to Paul and we would drive to their shop the following morning to arrange payment.
I called Paul and through my tears I begged him for answers. He just kept telling me to calm down. He told me everything I wanted to hear. The following morning we went to the lumber company and he let me talk and beg and plead for them to have mercy on us. Paul had told them that I'd put the check in the mail a dozen times and that I would be handling it. All the while, I didn't have a CLUE what was going on.
Fast forward a few weeks and Paul walked off the job. On one hand I don't blame him. The homeowners were creeps and had flat out lied to my face about a few things. There wasn't going to be enough money to cover everything that had to be done to the house and there was no guarantee the homeowners were going to pay what they owed once the work was done. It was just a mess. The contract Paul and designed in the beginning made it impossible to let things work in a way that made sense to anyone short of a trial lawyer. There just didn't seem to be a way out and so he walked.
He kept working. He did many jobs since... but things were never the same. It was always catch up with paying bills. There was always something we couldn't pay and there were always too many guys on the job. I begged Paul to let me take some of the responsibility, but he wouldn't release any control whatsoever. It was wearing on him. He started a few jobs that weren't done correctly and he'd have to go fix it or send someone to fix it. Some employees came and went. There never seemed to really be anyone Paul could trust to work on their own and he was working so many hours and getting so little sleep.
Toward the end, he landed a good roofing job in a large town. The money was going to clean up a bunch of debt. He was there one day, working in the rain, busting his butt... and the guy he was working for was just a total prick. There were several different crews working on this huge roofing project and all of them got fired because the man in charge had a stick up his butt. Paul did a good job, I have no doubt. The guy just wanted the impossible. After that, Paul lost all hope in just about everything. He came home and announced that he wanted to separate and after that... it was all down hill.
There are a few open jobs where customers are unhappy. There are a few where lawsuits have been threatened. The business, though we are married, is legally mine. The debt is legally mine. If he wrote bad checks, if he made promises to clients, if he took money and ran... it all comes back on me. The hopelessness of knowing that he could walk away and leave me hanging is overwhelming. Especially when he tells me that he can't wait for the divorce so that he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. As if I am the one who has caused all of his problems.
If I could go back in time, I think I'd still have encouraged him to start the business but so many things would have been different. He took on too much, too soon and it overwhelmed him in a way that I was blind to. In the end he was working 12+ hour days and I never saw him. He was getting very little sleep and living on caffeine, McDonalds and vicodin. I wasn't allowed to voice any kind of concern because he didn't want to hear it.
And now... now I just have to hold on and wait to see if he follows through or if his desperation to get rid of me is greater than his conscience. He's capable of being a good man... of stepping up to the plate and doing the right thing... but our relationship (or lack thereof) is just so volatile right now. He acts like he can't stand the sight of me. Like I'm the one who screwed him over. He doesn't care one way or another what happens to me--he just wants me gone.
There's so much debt. I have to file bankruptcy. There's over $100,000 in total with the house and the car and all the business stuff. We never got around to being incorporated. We were a sole proprietorship. I'm stuck. When everything is said and done, I'll walk away having lost basically everything. The house (he wants me to deed it to him so he can assume liability with the divorce), my job, the business, my husband, the security in life I had... I'm losing everything. The debt will disappear... but I'll be left with nothing. We have to come up with $3,000 for a bad check he wrote on a business check with my name. We have to come up with $1,300 for the bankruptcy and $650 for the divorce. Then he's done with me. I have to work something out with the IRS to cover the $10,000 in payroll taxes that didn't get paid. I just feel so helpless.
Another night and very few answers. I've laid a fleece before God... asking for a final, definite answer one way or another what I am meant to do. I believe that by Friday, I will have the answers that I need.
I'm spending tomorrow night with him. To say goodbye and to know that it's my very last night laying next to my husband. It's my last night to be held by him. My last night to kiss him or lay my head on his chest. It's my last night as Mrs. Vaughn... my last night.
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